I Portieri:
Gianluigi Buffon
Ok, so this comes as no real shock to anyone unless of course you've lived under a rock for the past decade or so, if not earlier. Gigi is Italy's #1 and for a reason, not only is he SuperGigi, he also has some pretty nice eyes, which you apparently can't see in this shot. He gets the stamp of approval, good work SuperGigi, good work ;)
Federico Marchetti
Italy's #2 goalie. I don't know if there's much to say about the Cagliari keeper, at least when it comes to fangirling. I mean, I don't know, not my cup of tea. I guess his messy mane could be attractive...to some... I DO NOT approve.
Morgan De Sanctis
De Sanctis. The old man goal keeper of the squad and perhaps one of the most unnecessary choices. He is actually older than Gigi and only has 3 caps to his name. Just saying, being unsuccessful is unattractive, I DO NOT approve.
1/3...maybe we will have better luck with the defense? Let's hope!
I Difensori:
Salvatore Bocchetti
He is 23 years old and I'll admit, he's kinda cute. I don't fangirl Bocchetti and I probably won't start after this, but I can see why some girls would. I think I approve, I'm not sure. I guess for now...I approve.
Leonardo Bonucci
Leo, 23 years old, Bari defender. I won't even lie, he is definitely deserving of some fangirling! From the photos I've seen, he looks like a pretty funny guy. I definitely approve!
Capitano Fabio Cannavaro
Really? Does he even need an introduction? Fabio, Fabio, Fabio...see this one's a tough one. Do I think he deserves to be a part of the team? Probably not. But is he pretty? Pretty may be an understatement. If Maldini is God of fangirls, he is like...Jesus! The pretty eyes and the mega watt smile, plus he was pretty disgusted when he found out Pepe and Quags made it over Borriello and Rossi! Fabio's always on my side, so I guess I approve!
Giorgio Chiellini
CHIELLO!!! How could anyone not love him!? Look at the adorableness!! He's an amazing talent and deserves this call up more than anyone! Forza Chiello!! Again, he shared my reaction to the news of dumb and dumber's inclusion and the exclusion of Borriello and Rossi. Oh Chiello, I approve!!
Domenico Criscito
Despite the confused look on his face here, he is actually quite the looker. He's adorable and seems like a pretty down to earth guy. He's a Juve bb and deserves the call up, so I approve! Good work Mimmo!
Christian Maggio
Perhaps not one of my favourite choices of the squad...I guess he's got a little something going for him with the eyes, but that's the best I can do. I'm sure he does have fangirls, I'm just not one of them. The eyes are what make me approve, so he got lucky there!!
Gianluca Zambrotta
Oh, Gianluca, he's kinda like Cannavaro. I don't think he deserves to be on the squad, but he's so nice to look at it isn't fair! From a pure fangirl perspective, I approve.
7/7! Wow good work difensori!! Well, actually Bocchetti only got a half approval, so its 6.5/7! Nice try Lippi! Don't even think you're off the hook yet, we still have 2 more positions to go and I have a feeling it will only go downhill from there!!
I Centrocampisti:
Mauro Camoranesi
Mauro. He may have been the difference between Borriello/Rossi making the team or not. I feel a tad bias against him for that, so I will try to be as objective as possible. Despite the fact that this isn't the best shot of Mauro, he can actually sometimes be pretty, mostly when he's angry. Considering how much he has given for Juve and the Azzurri and how much passion he plays with, which I greatly appreciate....I approve. I just hope he can bring all that heart and creativity to this years tournament.
Daniele De Rossi
I'm not really sure where to start. Lately, he's been looking like the homeless guy I see begging for change at the highway exit near my house. I really don't understand the beard. At first, I thought it was for the Scudetto so it was kinda cool. Now, he's starting to scare me like he went off the deep end! Because beards can be shaved, DDR will get a half approval. Full marks may come when he looks like he doesn't live on the streets again.
Gennaro Gattuso
Rino. I don't think he really deserves a spot on the team, but his intimidation factor can't be ignored, nor can his passion. He's another one I'm on the fence about...for now, he's getting a half approval...until I can decide.
Claudio Marchisio
Well, hello there! Ladies and gents, may I present to you the complete package - gorgeous, incredibly talented and young! There is nothing not to love about this kid! He is one of the most promising young talents in Italy and is also one of the prettiest. Those blue eyes with the Azzurri blue and his adorkable little elf ears make him irresistible! I dare the women to not fangirl him and the men to not wish they were him! I APPROVE!!
Riccardo Montolivo
Ok, I won't lie, this guy creeps the hell out of me! I have never been able to find him attractive! I know he has his share of fangirls, I just don't get it. The only thing he brings to the table is the fact that he is besties with Pazzini. I'm sorry, but that isn't enough to earn approval. I DO NOT approve.
Angelo Palombo
Angelo. Well. I don't know, I mean I guess he's cute, but if I was walking down the street would I take a second look? Probably not. Sorry Palombo, your a cutie, but when you have Marchisio as competition, it just isn't gonna happen. I'll give you a half approval for trying though aand for this!
Simone Pepe
*screams* AH! Sorry. Scared me there. There isn't much that needs to be said. I can't stand this man. I don't think he brings anything to the table and I really don't see him being a game changer. From a fangirl perspective, there really isn't much to look at. He really creeps me out...the beady eyes, the pornstache...its all just too much. The fact that he even thinks he is good enough to wear ADP's #7 at the World Cup disgusts me! I WILL NEVER approve!!! Ever. Never. Ever.
Andrea Pirlo
Hot damn that hair is amazing! I swear, I'm really surprised he hasn't been signed to do a Herbal Essences commercial yet!! Anyways, it is no secret that I fangirl him, as do many and he is well deserving! Despite the fact that he always looks like he is either asleep or juuust woke up from a long nap! That jersey looks good on him! I approve.
4.5/8 - Lippi I am not impressed. Why are you uglying up my squad?! This is not cool. That lump of coal will be arriving shortly. The best is yet to come.....
I Attacanti:
Antonio Di Natale
Apparently not a fan of the sun the Udinese striker was the highest scoring Italian in Serie A this season. I guess for that one could argue he deserves a call up. Personally, I'm not his biggest fan mostly because he never performs as well for the Azzurri as he does for Udinese. He's also nothing special to look at, so he will get a half approval for the goals thing. Now leave before I change my mind.
Alberto Gilardino
Well, that's a very unflattering shot of him. In the past 4 years since moving from Milan he has kinda gone down in the looks department, but is slowly coming back. I mean what happened to this or this! Seriously, get on that!! Anyways, I approve because he used to be pretty and he is starting to get back there...slowly. Very slowly.
Vincenzo Iaquinta
So, I will start by saying that when this guy is on, he is one of the most dangerous strikers, when he's off....niente. He was injured for over 100 days this season and yet apparently impressed enough to make the squad. *Bitterness alert* Giuseppe Rossi's father passed and missed a month of action and was not included. I'm sorry, but seriously, how do we even know if he's fit enough?! Rossi played more this season and really deserved a spot! Rant over. Vinnie got a cute little haircut which has suddenly made him more attractive. Although I still can't get myself to fangirl him, except when he's like this although Marchisio definitely rocked it better! So for the haircut he gets a half approval.
Giampaolo Pazzini
ZOMGGG!! *iz dead* So, if you can't already tell, I absolutely adore him! Not only is he one of Italy's best strikers, he is also one of the hottest! His eyes are gorgeous and his smile is adorable! But what really sold me on Pazzo Pazzini, other than the fact that he's been Juventino since childhood, was this because he's adorable! I hope he finds his way into a Juve shirt next season! I APPROVE!!!
Fabio Quagliarella
OMG Do you understand how much it killed me to search him on Google Images?! I swear everytime I look at him my stomach gets all queasy. He creeps me out more than Pepe!! I don't know who his fangirls are and I'm sorry for being so blunt for those that do love him, but I just can't stand him. He does not deserve to be on this squad. He is a waste of a call up and should never play for my Azzurri ever again. I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER approve. Seriously, GTFO!
3/5 - and that is being generous!! That score could've been higher Lippi! This was the toughest part for me because two of the most deserving strikers got cut and I will NEVER forgive Lippi for it, even if he brings home the trophy again. Just because I'm still not over this travesty I have decided to go through the 5 players who got the boot. None of which I agree with for the record.
Salvatore Sirigu
So Sal here is one of, if not the most promising young Italian keeper at the moment. Buffon has hailed him as his heir to the Azzurri posts and got Palermo very close to a Champion's League spot this season. That plus the fact that he's quite easy on the eyes made him a prime candidate to see his first World Cup. But, this would not be the case. Vaffanculo Lippi #1.
This is arguably one of Italy's strongest defenders of the moment. He also happens to look like John Cusack! What's there not to love!? Ask Lippi because he showed him no love when he cut him this evening. Vaffanculo Lippi #2. Lipps, man, this ain't looking good...
Andrea Cossu
Look. How. Adorable!! How can you say no?! Those eyes! GAH! Oh and did I mention, he's a pretty damn good player too!! Little Cossu got the axe today by Marcello Lippi. Vaffanculo Lippi #3.
Giuseppe Rossi
Giuseppe friggin' Rossi. This man deserves World Cup, but did he get it? No. Why? Because creepy Quagliarella took his spot instead! I am really not impressed with this at all. He gave up so much and takes so much from the haters to get to where he is. Honestly, this was probably the most shocking decision of all the cuts. I'm truly sorry Giuseppe. Vaffanculo Lippi #4!!! Seriously, Lippi, this really isn't looking to good for ya...
And last but most certainly not least, Marco Borriello
Where do I start? He is arguably the hottest man in Italy and perhaps to walk to the face of the planet...kinda like sex personified. He also happens to be a mighty fine player! He knows how to work that jersey like no one else can and he will be truly missed. This comes as a bit less of a surprise to me. As much as I wanted him there, I expected this. Seriously though, HOW can you say NO to this, this, or that?!?! And those aren't even his best shots! My God, what a travesty. VAFFANCULO LIPPI #5!
There you have it, Lippi is 5/5 on the Vaffanculo scale. That's not a good thing. I saw my favourites on the list and got all excited and ready to send Lippi a fruit basket until today's list was revealed. Now I want his address so I can send him a lump of coal or a lump of dog shit, whichever I find first. I am completely unimpressed with this team. I don't expect us to go very far, but because of guys like Pazzini, Buffon and Marchisio I will support Italy at this World Cup. I had it all planned to buy a Borriello jersey, but Lippi crushed my dreams! So, now I'm trying to decide between a Buffon or Pazzini shirt....maybe I'll just get both!
I plan to do one of these for each team (plan is the operative word here). I don't know who will be next so stay tuned I guess! I'm off to sulk now.
it's a really shame about rossi, i'm not sure who they expect will be scoring goals for this years squad...
ReplyDeleteI agree, as you probably can tell I'm not super impressed with the squad haha
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